Planning for Aging
Happy Mid-Summer!
I was recently reflecting on the two-year anniversary of my father’s passing and my role in assisting my mom. I am often in the position of managing estates and providing guidance to the trustees of trusts, but this personal experience has offered me a different perspective. As an adult child, I am in the role of helping my mother (who is doing great – and even thriving) with the transition into widowhood, overseeing parts of the administration and helping her with certain decisions. It’s a role I frequently take on as an attorney willingly, but as the child, I find this role challenging. It’s the same role, but one has a lot more emotion attached.
Assisting an aging parent is a bit of a role reversal from the traditional dynamic. While my mom is capable of managing her affairs, she sometimes encounters challenges related to technology and finances. There have also been several instances of check fraud (checks being fished out of mailboxes!) which required years of effort to resolve. Sometimes the child is not the best person to resolve these issues, and in those instances it’s crucial to have professional support in place instead.
In our client family, we are noticing subtle shifts in our clients as they age. While they have capacity and are not showing signs of mental incapacity, there is a decline in mental acuity. I worry about them falling victim to scams or being manipulated. At a certain point, as we age it is vital to seek out the help of others and build out a team to help with the aging process and to avoid potentially serious repercussions. Areas of assistance may include bookkeeping (tracking and paying bills and reconciling accounts), housekeeping assistance (cleaning, decluttering and helping with routine maintenance), driving (to medical appointments, the grocery store and other places) and medical advocacy. Many of us assume that we will remain healthy throughout our lives, but this is often not the case. If proactive measures are not taken, the responsibility for these tasks may fall to children or fiduciaries, who will then need to manage these aspects on your behalf.
Proper planning must include the conversations about aging and how to manage “aging in place”. This idea is a great one but will require supports to be successful. There are various “villages” that exist to help our elders live in the community by providing supports. Here are links to two such organizations https://cambridgeneighbors.org/ and https://www.beaconhillvillage.org/
As you think about your own plan, an important step is to talk with the team you already selected in your estate planning documents. Have you talked with your health care proxy or the agent under your power of attorney about their role? Have to let your successor trustees know about their role? What about your disability panel? Do they know what to do? Increasingly, I highly recommend a meeting with your entire “team” of helpers to explain their roles and what is expected of them. In the last two years, we have seen some estate plans fall apart because one or more of the “helpers” did not want to act, resulting in many headaches and lack of decision making at vital times.
We are willing and happy to facilitate such meetings, and in my experience, this works best. Some “helpers” want to make sure that there’s someone to back them up and help them if they don’t know what to do. If you are our client, we are uniquely qualified to discuss roles and responsibilities with your selected team, so just let us know!
Upcoming Staffing Changes: After 5 years, Noah Evans will be leaving us to move to DC and start his next stage in life. We extend our heartfelt gratitude for his contributions and dedication during his time with us. We are pleased to announce that our law clerk Gianna McNally will transition to the role of Paralegal, and when she’s sworn in as an attorney in November, she will join us as a full-time Attorney! Please join us in welcoming Gianna and wishing Noah all the best in his future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Anna